Hope for lactose-loving lactards


I mostly manage fine with an almost-dairy free existence these days. Aside from butter on my daily piece of toast, and the occasional moment of weakness when I just want a Trumpet, I’ve been pretty good.

I want one now, even though my tummy is gurgling in anticipations.
I kind of want a Trumpet now, even though my tummy is gurgling in anticipation.

When I found out about my lactard abilities, my gastro doctor told me there were pills you could take before you eat dairy products which enable you to live life like a normal person.

I’ve finally come across these mysterious pills in person, albeit in chewable form. Ice cream, cheeses, milkshakes, and yoghurt can be back on the menu! The pills apparently contain lactase, which means my stomach can actually process the lactose and not just grumble loudly and have a seizure in protest.

Trumpets, you could be mine. 

Of course, this could be disastrous for my calorie kilojoule counting. Since ice cream and my tummy have not been good friends, I haven’t wanted it as much, despite all I’ve said about Trumpets. Now that eating ice cream without pain is a possibility, it’ll also be another test on my willpower. I suppose with summer ending now, ice cream cravings will be fewer and further between.


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